So... I'm sitting in Civics and Economics.... and it doesn't seem too bad. I have Civics 2nd hour, and Mr. Roth seems pretty cool. He's already teased Tim and Erin Russell about how there's no way they're twins and how it would be really weird of they ended up dating (they are actually twins, and it would be twincest if they started dating... ew.), and he's talking to us about his fiancee Whitney right now. So... I'm glad I have a cool teacher for Civics, because otherwise it would be extremely painful. Speaking of extremely painful, Physics is going to be absolute torture. I was actually somewhat excited about Physics, because I thought I was going to have Moeller, your typical eccentric science teacher that everyone knows and loves, but he's getting older so Hamilton decided to hire another Physics teacher (i don't think Moeller is too happy about this decision... the new teacher, Goetsch, is actually teaching in Moeller's room, and Moeller is being pretty frosty towards Goetsch. i'm fairly certain the school board is going to have to use almost-military-level force to get Moeller to retire anytime soon). Goetsch is very... dry, to say the least. He looks like Rufus the Naked Mole Rat from Kim Possible (random thought: why can't Hamilton hire any extremely attractive teachers? i mean, some of the female teachers are really pretty, but i just realized there are no outstandingly attractive male teachers. i bet there would be a much higher attendance/enrollment level in even a class like physics if the teacher was an adonis... just a thought, those of the school district), and he is definitely not anywhere close to as entertaining and fun as the rat. I'm going to have to try really hard not to bash my brains out on the desk *EPIC FACEDESK* in that class, but I make no promises. Luckily, I'm usually half asleep first hour, so hopefully I'll be able to absorb information while I'm asleep. [update: i ended up transferring out of physics into spanish ii because i couldn't stand it that much... smartest decision of my life] And, my last two hours of the day I still have a cappella/choir and AP Lang, so I shouldn't have too much sadness/boredom in my day. Okay... I should probably start paying attention to Mr. Roth's presentation about Nigerian Hostages. Dangit. My stomach's rumbling.
OH. OH. I FORGOT. I don't know if Maya still reads these blog posts or not, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAYA. I LOVE YOU. I'M SORRY I'M SUCH A HORRIBLE FRIEND AND I ALWAYS MISS YOUR BIRTHDAY. In my defense, it is when drama's in complete freak-out mode, and I can't have a life for three weeks straight... but still... I'M A DESPICABLE HUMAN BEING AND I HOPE YOU HAD THE HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS EVEN THOUGH I FORGOT IT.
I think the worst and hardest thing about growing up is that sometimes, you'll cry at night, and there'll be no one there to hold you. When I was a kid, and I got upset at night, I would purposely make a lot of noise when I cried so my mom would come in the room and pet my head or hug me until I stopped crying and could go to sleep. But tonight... I realized... I am completely alone. Yeah, I have friends and family that love me (i hope), but right now, at this moment, I'm all alone. You dont know how wonderful it would feel to have someone... anyone hold me righ now as I cried little girl tears into their shoulder. But that's not the way it works. At some point, you have to put your man pants on and deal with the fact that nobody is here to help. You have to deal with the terrible, heartwrenching, neverending pain all by yourself, and it is a horrible lesson to learn.