Little Story

So, I was going through my old papers, and I found this story that made me crack up. I was a weird kid. Here it is, spelling mistakes included. I couldn't help commenting.

Once opon a time there was a queen. And that queen wanted a child. Oh, how she wanted on. So She went to the town magician who gave her a bottle of red gook. what a lovely choice of words A day went by. The next day, she felt something moving around in her stomach. "Quickly, get me to my bed," she said to her maids. So the maids got the guards who quickly picked up a board with two poles on either side apparently stretchers are just laying around in this country and the maids got a mattress, pillow, pillowcase, and a fancy blanket. The guards picked up the mattress and put it on the board. The maids put the pill ow in the pillowcase, put the pillow on the bed, put the blanket, fixed the blanket in case you didn't know how to make a bed, this story gives you step by step instructions in great detail. The guards hurridly picked up the bed. The raced up the stairs. One of the maids named Sue great name, Sue. showed the guards exactly where the queen was and there she was lying there. "She's problebly just sleeping," said a maid named Maggy where did I get these names? Sue shook the queen gently. Her eyes opened, Maggy and Sue smiled. The guards picked up the queen and put her on the bed. They brought her to her room. The guards put her on her bed. Maggie knelt by her bed. She said, "If you need anything, I'll be right here. A few weeks later okay, either I thought women go into labor for a few weeks long, or women are only pregnant for three weeks. idk. She had a beautiful child. She named her Marinda once again, where are these names coming from? Every one came to the banquet All of a sudden there was hissing of wind, and there stood the Wicked Witch. She said to the queen "Along with everyone else I too have a gift for the girl." All were trembling with fright. "When the child is four years old you will give her to me. Otherwise your kingdom I will destroy Yoda, I am I will put her in a boat. She will float out of sight. You will never see her again!"  and with that she dissapired. Well, when the child was four years old, the Wicked Witch came. "Do you wish to give the child to me? Or will I destroy your kindom? The king and queen were not selfish It was only a matter of generosity. that's it. so with heavy hearts gave the child to the witch. But before they did the told the witch, "Let the girl have her cat." Okay. totally makes sense. The witch did. She carried her out to the boat. It was made for fishermen. It wasn't a yacht. The Wicked Witch pushed the boat off toward sea. Since the little one was asleep when this happened, when she woke up scared and surprised when she woke in the middle of nowhere. There was her little cat sitting on her lap looking just as surprised as herself, but no maids, no comfortable bed, just a uncomfortable fishing boat. don't forget the sea that's surrounding you and the strange, old, possibly green woman in the boat with you. There was a fishing rod so she took it up and thrust it into the water are we talking about a fishing pole or a sword here? She caught two or three fish. One was too small so she threw it back. 

This is where I apparently got bored with writing the story and left poor Marinda alone in the ocean with a witch and a cat and no water and a tendency toward eco-friendliness. Yeah. Once again, I was a strange child. 

1000 Pageviews!!

I can't believe it! I have 1011 pageviews! I have no idea where those views are coming from, but thank you all! To celebrate, I decided to give you a piece of advice from my cousin Mikayla and me: the foolproof ways to pickup someone, whether girl or guy.

"Hellooo (a deep seductive voice is key). I was looking over at you, and you're pretty toasty. In fact, you're so toasty, I'm sweating through my FACE. With me, there will be a party every day inside and sweet dreams tonight, man. Call me maybe?"

Happy Camper

Soooo... just got back from a thrilling camping adventure. I have to say, I am not much of a camping gal. I'm sure everyone knows, I'm what some might call, "picky," so camping with dirt and gross stuff usually doesn't suit me. Okay, okay, it wasn't that bad. It actually could have been a lot worse. Our tent was very very bug proof (meaning that it was sealed really well so spiders couldn't get in), which was good because we may have been underneath a spider nest or something, as they were covering the tent. But they were on the outside, not on the inside, so all was well. It was actually kind of interesting to look up through the little screen in the roof and see them climbing on the ceiling. As long as the spiders were outside the tent, I was, for lack of a better term, a happy camper.

But that wasn't all.... We were camping by Pike Lake (and this is where Maya goes omigosh! I know that place... there's a little beach with lots of trails and a tower... :D) and apparently Pikian Lake territory is very very hilly. ALL HILLS! Which is very sad when you are a less-than-athletic-or-even-physically-fit-person and you are forced to walk up and down the hills at a pace slightly faster than you would like, because somehow your fellow cousins are finding the energy to RUN, like SPRINT down the trail ahead of you, and you will get lost without them. Fortunately, Mikayla was having about as much trouble as I was, and she works out far more often than I do, so that made me feel a little less out of shape (sorry, Mikayla, but it's true!! i love you....) Not to mention that the aforementioned beach, which was actually slightly pathetic, was about 30-45 minutes away from the campsite, and pretty much all up and down very very steep hills. woo hoo.

The other thing that was a major highlight for this trip was the campfire. My mom sent my brother and little cousin off into the woods to get kindling, and she misjudged how much energy they had, and they brought back enough kindling for two more days than we were actually staying at the campsite. This was great... ish. They got all the kindling off of the ground, which meant it was all a) green or b) damp. This made it really really hard to start a fire, and I spent about 2 1/2 hours trying to get the stupid thing going. I actually ended up having to go find a old dead tree to get some decent kindling, and it was a very complicated process. I had to gather all the things I needed ahead of time, and then set some crumpled paper on fire, and then add a pile of dead dry leaves, and then break up tiny pieces of kindling and put that on the fire and then take smaller dry sticks and put that on, and keep getting bigger and bigger until I could put the big logs that would last a while. Whatever. I'm sure you absolutely needed to know that.... :/

I felt like absolute crap on a plate the last day, since I hadn't showered in an amount of time any human being should not be required to not shower (tmi, kira) and my hair was greasy, and I smelled like smoke. I seriously felt like a hippie or something, since I was wearing flip flops, baggy sweat pants and a gigantic men's plaid shirt covered with paint that my mom stole from my grandpa. That's what Kira is like in her natural state... everything is baggy and old and plaid... hehe... But seriously, if I didn't have to dress in a socially acceptable way, I would wear huge men's flannel shirts, (my dog is being a butt and shoving her face under my hand while I type) very very baggy capris and no shoes all the time. But, unfortunately, I'm not allowed to do that. :( Anyways, I was feeling very yucky, and standing in the women's bathroom putting my hair up into something that would feel a little more comfortable than having it plastered to my head, and I was listening to a conversation these little girls were having while seated on the toilet (that sounds creeperish. it wasn't, i promise...) and they were arguing about who would get done relieving herself first. Then, out of the blue, one of the girls blurted out "The lady out there looks really pretty!" I was like, okay... apparently huge dirty flannel shirts and greasy hair are attractive now.... (one other thing: am i the only one who finds it really really weird when people call me ma'am or miss or lady or something? like, it really freaks me out! i'm not old yet!!) Soo... maybe I should start wearing men's shirts now??? Let me know... haha... (just an fyi, my dog made this soo hard to type!! stupid fireworks....)

I'm a Sassy Girl

So, today I really enjoyed work, because I (finally) got to do register instead of covering myself in sticky custard. It was really fun! Which may have been because I had a really fun trainer named Ryan, who was such a goofball. Anyways, my manager for the day, Lucas and Ryan are really good friends, and they were talking about something in basketball called Heat (idk... weird sports terms) and they were freaking out about watching the game, and Lucas decided to wait for Ryan to get out of work. Of course, Lucas wanted to scare me and made me take his order, and ordered, of all things, ranch on his hamburger just to be mean. But Ryah stuck up for me, and then helped me. Stupid Lucas. Anyways, I was kind of freaking out, and Lucas was taking too much pleasure in my discomfort. Kira decided to get a little sassy, because she knew Lucas would take it okay. So at the end of my shift, I went to clock out, and Lucas was mean again and pretended to be a impatient customer and was all like, "Aren't you going to take my order?" and I was kind of ticked off, so I said, "No."

"Why?"

"Because I don't like you."

Oh my goodness, Kira! You just sassed off your manager! I couldn't believe that had popped out of my mouth. Yes, I know I'm a sarcastic person, but usually I don't mouth off to people I barely know. But apparently I was really comfortable at work, because I just mouthed off to my manager. Jeez. I need to shut my face sometimes. Luckily, he thought it was funny. Usually when people get to know me, they find it really funny that I talk back a lot, because they assume that just because I'm quiet, it means I'm shy. But I'm just quiet because there's no one for me to talk to! So he found it hilarious, and when I left, he said a (sarcastic) scathing goodbye. I think I'm going to like this place. They all treat me like a little puppy or something because I'm new and young and they're all in college, but I think they like me, and they amuse me. 

Big News!

I know I haven't posted something in forever, but I've been super super busy with life stuff. You know. So this is just a quick post to say, I haven't died, and I also have a big surprise! My cousin Mikayla and I decided to make a joint Youtube account, and we're posting videos every week (theoretically). Here's the link if you want to check it out. It's called PartyEverydayInside because... well, watch the first video and you'll learn why.

http://www.youtube.com/user/PartyEveryDayInside

Stickiness

I did it, guys! I made it through an entire shift of making ice cream at work without licking my fingers once! And it was super hard, let me tell you that. Now my arms are completely covered with spattered ice cream. Yum... haha.. jk. It was really easy at first, because things were slow and my trainer was really sweet (her name was Abby). I was apparently supposed to watch this tutorial thing from "Butterburger University" (oooo... exciting) about how to make stuff, but nobody thought to show it to me, and I didn't ask, so she taught me everything. And then my boss Debbie remembered that I had to watch the video, and it was TORTUOUS!!! ugh. To add to the loveliness, it was not just like 10 minutes of boredom. It was more like 45 minutes of torture. By the time I emerged from Butterburger University, things were already picking up and I was flung into the midst of it. Luckily, I was sort of kind of not really prepared, so I just started, and hoped upon hope that nothing bad would happen. Of course, things picked up at like 7:30 (really? who eats dinner at 7:30?) and everyone wanted shakes cuz it was hot out, and so I started freaking out and spazzing, and I made the wrong order. But, luckily when my brain goes into panic mode, a small part stays sane, and is also very commanding, because that little part started shouting "HEY! KIRA! GET IT TOGETHER! FOCUS!" Then things went a lot better because I stopped looking at all the orders and just concentrated on one at a time. So it actually turned out to be kind of fun. I'm sure you all know this by now, but I deal so much better with chaos and stress than boredom.

I Hate Buses

I know that my first blog (ever!) kind of discussed this, but today was just so annoying that I need to vent about it.

I had to go on the bus today because I didn't have anything going on after school, which I wasn't too thrilled about 'cuz I have to be on that stupid bus for 40 minutes to get to my house which is 4 minutes away. But I'm like, whatever, I'll just sleep on the bus. Oh, Kira. How wrong you were..... Things were pretty good until we got to the middle school, the sky erupted and dumped little imp children into our bus. I hear:

"Oh, look there's a sleeping girl in that seat! Shoot!"

"Who is she? I don't know!" (I've only been on this bus for 3 months now, people. Shock factor.)

I could feel them all looking at me, and then the extremely annoying girl behind me decided to stick her head out from behind her seat and poke me. "ARE YOU SLEEPING???" she yelled. I do not exaggerate. This girl practically yelled every time she opened her pothole. Which was quite often. The rest of the implings stuck their heads and stared me down. I felt like a goldfish in a bowl. Ten minutes later, the two guys who were in the seats across from me, who were in 6th and 7th grade, I think, were discussing how one of them were going to break up with their "girlfriend" (seriously, dude? girlfriend? you barely know how to count to ten yet.) The 6th grader looked straight at me, pointed and said, "You could go out with that girl." I just kept pretending to be asleep. Then the thunder cracked, so I couldn't pretend to sleep, otherwise I would have to pretend to be deaf too. And I almost was, having to listen to the girl behind me. Who also felt it necessary to pound on my seat. So things go on fairly decently after that, except about 20 minutes later, when that same girl stuck her head back out. "HI!" she yelled, "HOW ARE YOU???"
"Okay." I replied. "YOU HAVE BIG EYES! I LIKE BIG EYES!" she screeched. The guy across from me apologized, saying "Sorry, she's really weird." Yeah, I've figured that out by this point. "HE HAS BIG EYES TOO! (referring to the guy across from me, who was, again, in 7th grade) YOU GUYS SHOULD GO OUT!!" At this point, I'm like, this girl is so stupid, and that statement was so totally idiotic that I'm not even going to grace it with an answer. She took that as "YOU'RE NOT DISAGREEING! YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH HIM!!!" I just gave her a look. "Excuse me? I'm a sophomore."

"A SOFTMORE?"

"No. A sophomore."

"OH! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A FRESHMAN!!! (why does everyone think that?)"

By this point the big-eyed boy is dying with embarrassment, and luckily I'm at my bus stop. Yeah. It was a weird bus ride. That's why I need drivers-ed.