Last night I was pretty upset. I had just gone through an entirely crappy audition and was feeling a little bit like a failure. I had all this pent up energy and anxiety and I had nowhere to put it and I really didn't want to sit and strain my ears trying to hear what the directors were saying about us, so I went into the school bathroom and sat down in a stall and cried. I know that sounds really pathetic, but it was a good cry. It honestly helped a lot. I was so upset and it felt fantastic just to get my feels out without any "poor Kira"-ing or "its-not-fair"ing.
After I'd gotten myself somewhat together, I went outside, expecting it to be cold and bitter and disgusting out. But when I stepped outside, it was almost warm... and the sky was this rich, glorious shade of purple with a wind that was positively delicious. And I know that a moment like that might seem really silly and insignificant, but it made me realize how beautiful life can be... It helped me put things in perspective. Who cares what part I don't get in the musical when there are things like violet skies and sweet-smelling winds and the peacefulness of Indian-summer nights? I think it's really important for everyone to go outside sometimes and look at the sky instead of sitting inside and wallowing in self pity.
(side note: a teacher's assistant came outside and saw me staring at the sky, probably with a red nose and puffy eyes, and he just stopped and was like... "honey, are you okay?" so, yes, i looked like a complete crazy person last night. but whatever. it was a deep moment for me.)