I think I've learned a lot this year.... for once. I've learned that if you love someone enough, you'll find a way to make them happy... even if you look really stupid and make a complete idiot of yourself in the process. Sometimes you'll have to make a dork out of yourself supporting your nerd friends in things that are TOTALLY uncool.... (because obviously i'm the coolest girl on planet earth) but its okay. Because if you really care about them, the stupid things that you imagine everyone thinking about you... they don't matter. 'Cuz you made your geeky friend happy by letting him show you how to design robots (i say "show you" loosely... i still don't know the first thing about it... he showed me, i never said i retained the information.)
I've also learned that if you find a friend who will stick by you through insane (slightly disturbing) crushes on boys who totally won't give a second glance to you and parent divorces and new baby sisters and trips to Russia and Russian boyfriends and their brothers that give her great emotional conflict... she's a keeper. And even though you don't get to see her as much as you'd like to... she will forever and always be your first true and forever best friend. And every time you see her, it's like no time passed at all... I love you, Maya Papaya, and I"m so glad you stumbled your way into my life.
I've learned that you can't make quick judgements about people... I tend to do that a lot... I mean, its hard not to. I used to think that I was alone with my totally messed up family and crazy situations that seem to run into me. But its not true... people are more alike than you like. I used to think that there was absolutely no way a girl like me, a nerdy Whovian and theater fanatic, would have anything in common with someone like a senior guy on the wrestling team. I mean, how diverse can a school like Hamilton be? There's no way that senior guy would understand what its like to worry about his parents violent fights... that he would have to hear his mom tell him that she doesn't know how she can afford to get groceries. But turns out, that senior guy and I had more in common than I thought. Yeah. I've started to learn that I can't make assumptions that everyone else's lives are easy breezy Covergirl-ish. And it's also made me realize that I want to be able to help make lives better... to listen to them and heal relationships that don't have to be over.
I've made three strong, amazing friends this year. Sure, two out of three of them are annoying, and idiotic, and completely infuriating, but I love them so much, and I wouldn't have them any other way (even though it would really be nice if they stopped talking about that stupid sparkle party. c'mon, guys, it's getting old). I love being your mom/grandma/little sister/whatever I am. Its weird to have friends that I can talk about David Tennant and his excessive sexiness one moment and then black holes and custard and death and the power of emotions and parents and crushes and Kira Confession Night.
This year meant a lot of ups and downs for me. I think I've come closer to figuring how to balance being strong and letting your emotions color the world. I've rekindled my passion for mac 'n cheese, and I met the love of my life, Steven Giovannni, who is at this moment, sitting next to me without his pillowcase on. Stevie, you naughty naughty boy. I've had crushes this year, mostly on fictional and/or animated men, but y'no, they're crushes nonetheless. I've cried a lot this year, I've laughed a lot, I've sang off key and biked in the pouring rain and fell in swimming pools fully dressed. Yeah.... this is getting really weird. I think I should probably get back to my Disney tv shows that are probably too young for me but I refuse to give up because I'm still 5 years old inside. Peace off, boop.
