I think the worst and hardest thing about growing up is that sometimes, you'll cry at night, and there'll be no one there to hold you. When I was a kid, and I got upset at night, I would purposely make a lot of noise when I cried so my mom would come in the room and pet my head or hug me until I stopped crying and could go to sleep. But tonight... I realized... I am completely alone. Yeah, I have friends and family that love me (i hope), but right now, at this moment, I'm all alone. You dont know how wonderful it would feel to have someone... anyone hold me righ now as I cried little girl tears into their shoulder. But that's not the way it works. At some point, you have to put your man pants on and deal with the fact that nobody is here to help. You have to deal with the terrible, heartwrenching, neverending pain all by yourself, and it is a horrible lesson to learn.