7.24.2014

Falling in Love

One of the many things that I love about Doctor Who is that it demonstrates all the different loves you can have towards someone. A lot of TV shows just have the romantic boy+girl chemistry going on, and maybe a little tension between a parent figure and a child, but other than that, the only relationship that is deemed "important" is a romantic one. True love's first kiss breaks the spell because that's an act of love, but the fact that your best friend had to sacrifice everything to get you to that point and put up with your moaning on top of it doesn't count for anything. Like in Frozen, I always wondered why Olaf's sacrifice for Anna didn't count as an act of true love. He was prepared to die for her, to keep her safe. But because it wasn't a boy-girl relationship kiss scenario, it didn't count. Of course, a different kind of love was showcased, but according to the spell's rule, Anna should have been saved as soon as Olaf lit the fire to keep Anna warm. But that friendship wasn't deemed important enough to break a spell. And I don't think that's the right way to go about things. The Greeks got it right. They had a word for "love" in all its senses, including friendship. And all the loves were equal. I love Doctor Who because it puts as much emphasis on friendship as it does on romantic interactions, perhaps more so. A lot of people ask me why I'm not in a relationship, and occasionally people ask me why I'm not really upset that I'm not in one, or try harder to GET in one. I usually just kind of shrug it off, but I think I should say, "I AM in one. I'm in hundreds of relationships right now." Because I am. I'm in so many crazy, wonderful, horrible, heartwrenching relationships right now, and no, they might not be romantically inclined, but they're just as real and true and gratifying as a boyfriend-girlfriend dealio would give me. It kind of makes me upset that society doesn't say that being a friend is as good as being a boyfriend. Everyone has complained at one point of being "friendzoned," as if it was a bad thing. Yes, it might be disappointing in that situation, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with being in love with someone as a friend, because that love is no less real than if you were going on dates and making out. My love for all my friends is SO strong, and I'm not just saying that. I choose my friends carefully. If I ever tell a friend I love them, its not a flippant statement. I mean it with everything in me. Because I don't think people say "I love you" enough, no matter what kind of love it is. I've been learning how to love in a different way lately. For the past six years, I really haven't been able to love my dad in the way I wanted to. It was kind of a second -hand love, something that I remembered and honored but really didn't have a direct link with. I loved him when I was a little girl, and I've loved him over the past six years, but I haven't been able to talk to him. But now, I'm able to talk to him every week, which is incredible. Because I think I'm falling in love with him, more. I'm able to know that he's there, and interested in what I have to say, and geek about TV shows and movies and plays and school, instead of just having to take my mom's word for it. And I love that. I've wanted to be able to talk to my dad about simple things, like Star Trek or cars or work, or complicated things like God and love and futures, and now that I can, it's everything I've imagined. It's an amazing thing. And that's what I mean. You can fall in love with your dad. You can fall in love with your best friend. You can fall in love with your boyfriend. They all have the same weight and importance and impact upon your life. And that's all I have to say.