Something whispered to me today and told me to read some of my old stuff from 4 years ago, when I had just turned 15. And it made me really think-- I've changed so much over the last few years. Instead of worrying about a class or going to a incredibly hipster concert,I'm thinking about how weird it's going to be on my own as an adult in a few short months. My responsibilities lean towards applying for loans and making down payments instead of coloring maps of Europe. And that fact is so strange to me.
I'm also surrounded by such different people. The people you surround yourself with influence you so much, how you think and react and speak, and, looking back on it, I don't think I should have let some of those people have as much influence on me as they did. I've ended up cutting them out of my life, but now that they're gone, and that way of thinking and planning is gone, I think that the person I've been as I've navigated through high school is gone as well.
I've heard that if you don't see someone for 7 years, they're technically a stranger to you, because every single cell in their body has been replaced, the same, but slightly different. And I think that's kind of what's happened to me. I'm pretty sure that certain parts of me have been burned out, and other parts are new and better at dealing with other circumstances. But, at the same time, there are other things that I don't particularly like, because they're things that hurt and are scarred. But, regardless of the things I like or detest about the new Kira, the fact still remains that she is a new creature, and this blog was written by the old one.
So my point is, I don't think I should write on this blog anymore. I've changed so much, I don't think that 15-year old me and I should have the same place for our thoughts to figure themselves out, 'cuz our thoughts aren't the same ones anymore.
I'm pretty sure that I'll probably create a new stomping ground for my thoughts to frolic, but as of now, this is going to be my last rambling.
<3 kira a. lange